
Decades ago, a person sent me this question: “How would you explain my feelings of inadequacy when I have been very successful at every job I’ve taken on and I made excellent grades in school? It doesn’t make sense to me.” Below is how I answered her.
First, I would say you should not judge yourself by the world’s standards. You’ll find they are very fickle. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who can do better. There will likely be someone who can’t and despises you for it. Whose standards are you going to live by? The guy who is more skilled than you or the guy who isn’t? If you choose either one of them, you’ve made an unfortunate choice for many reasons.
You create your own life. No one can feel for you, no one can think for you … unless you let them. Allowing yourself to use other people’s standards as your own is like trying to wear hand-me-downs. It never looks quite as good on you as it did on the original owner.
So, why do you feel inadequate? ...
First, I would say you should not judge yourself by the world’s standards. You’ll find they are very fickle. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who can do better. There will likely be someone who can’t and despises you for it. Whose standards are you going to live by? The guy who is more skilled than you or the guy who isn’t? If you choose either one of them, you’ve made an unfortunate choice for many reasons.
You create your own life. No one can feel for you, no one can think for you … unless you let them. Allowing yourself to use other people’s standards as your own is like trying to wear hand-me-downs. It never looks quite as good on you as it did on the original owner.
So, why do you feel inadequate? ...